Christmas 2015

I know I haven’t blogged in a very long time. In a nutshell: we packed our things and after 2.5 years for me and the kiddo (nearly 3 for Brian) we moved back to Missouri in August. We are happier. The way of life here is slower and we have a house on land to live in and take care of.

Now for the reason of the post… Lots of times I can’t say exactly what I want to on social media. I have to walk a tightrope sometimes with what I do say. I tend to let go here. Christmas is rough. It has been since the first Christmas 10 years ago when I was allowed to go to my family’s house and celebrate. It was the first Christmas after I let my mom have Charity move in with her. After that, I didn’t get invited. Not until 5 years ago. That was the first Christmas I was able to wake up with my daughter under the same roof as me.

I know some people are wondering what the big deal is. It might not be a big deal to you, but it is to me. I missed too many Christmases with my daughter. It still hurts me that I was powerless over the situation for 5 years. She is the only kiddo I have or will have and I cherish the holidays I do get. There really may not be too many more that she wants to truly spend with me,  cause let’s face it.. She is getting older and hates me sometimes.

I guess what I am saying is that this year is a double edged sword. I am truly happy to be with family this year again after the last couple just being our little family of “us” but I have to work Christmas eve. That part sucks. However, Charity picked out a funny holiday shirt for me to wear and she has the same one to wear so we can be “twinkies”.

Happy Holidays, y’all.