Christmas 2015

I know I haven’t blogged in a very long time. In a nutshell: we packed our things and after 2.5 years for me and the kiddo (nearly 3 for Brian) we moved back to Missouri in August. We are happier. The way of life here is slower and we have a house on land to live in and take care of.

Now for the reason of the post… Lots of times I can’t say exactly what I want to on social media. I have to walk a tightrope sometimes with what I do say. I tend to let go here. Christmas is rough. It has been since the first Christmas 10 years ago when I was allowed to go to my family’s house and celebrate. It was the first Christmas after I let my mom have Charity move in with her. After that, I didn’t get invited. Not until 5 years ago. That was the first Christmas I was able to wake up with my daughter under the same roof as me.

I know some people are wondering what the big deal is. It might not be a big deal to you, but it is to me. I missed too many Christmases with my daughter. It still hurts me that I was powerless over the situation for 5 years. She is the only kiddo I have or will have and I cherish the holidays I do get. There really may not be too many more that she wants to truly spend with me,  cause let’s face it.. She is getting older and hates me sometimes.

I guess what I am saying is that this year is a double edged sword. I am truly happy to be with family this year again after the last couple just being our little family of “us” but I have to work Christmas eve. That part sucks. However, Charity picked out a funny holiday shirt for me to wear and she has the same one to wear so we can be “twinkies”.

Happy Holidays, y’all.

Charity is 11!!

Charity turned 11 last month, on the 25th. She happened to be in Missouri for her birthday and her grandma took her and some cousins and friends to White Water in Branson, MO.

The weekend after, grandma and grandpa (my in-laws) threw her a party at their house. This is the 3rd year in a row she has had a birthday party there. They have a pool and the space to do it there, so it makes it fun for the kids. She also gets spoiled rotten by family up there.

She finally came back after spending 5 weeks away. She left a 10 year old and came back an 11 year old.

Brian has been working nonstop, 7 days a week for the last few weeks. I had to drive up to Oklahoma to meet my in-laws on my own. When we came back, instead of driving straight home, I took her to Brian’s new restaurant, a place she had never been as they were in the construction phase when she left.

Brian surprised us with food. I wasn’t very hungry after having a large lunch and Charity is a bottomless it these days. Plus, I made a cake and had it stashed in the cooler in the kitchen.

I missed the look on her face when she first saw the cake. Brian says it was a look of awe. I was busy singing her happy birthday. She had requested Mama Jean’s (Brian’s mom) chocolate sheet cake. I kicked it up and challenged myself. I made it into a 2 layer cake with buttercream frosting. (Something I hadn’t done in almost 5 years..unless you count the not so pretty cake I made 3 years ago for her birthday).


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Happy Father’s Day!! 2014

I am lucky. I have the kind of Dad people dream of. Yes, we have had some rough patches, mostly from my teenage years and after, but he has always been there for me.


He and I don’t always see eye to eye, but I know he loves me. He taught me how to be a good parent to my own child. I still catch myself saying things he used to say to me, but I am saying them to my own daughter. He taught me what to look for in a father for my own daughter.


I chose well. Brian has been a great dad to Charity. His dad has taught him well. I am grateful for this. Charity did lack in the dad department for many years, but Brian has more than made up for that. A conversation with my own dad can tell him that if Charity is anything like her mom, she will hit those strong-willed teenage years and what Brian has to look forward to. Poor guy.


I just want to say thank you to my own dad, for teaching me what I needed to look for in a husband and father to my child. Thank you to my husband for being a wonderful dad to our daughter and a wonderful husband. Also, thank you to his dad, my father-in-law for being a great dad to Brian and showing him how to be a great father and being a great father-in-law.

Happy Father’s Day!


Happy Mother’s Day!

I have some new posts in the works, but I wanted to take a moment today to reflect on something.

I am a mom. I have 3 children. I have one here on earth and two babies in heaven. Not every woman I know has children on earth. Today is hard on them. It is hard on me. I want to wish them a happy Mother’s Day.

This day isn’t just hard on those of us with children in heaven, it is hard on those of us whose mothers are absent and those of us whose mothers are in heaven. I am thinking of all of you today.